SHE !!!!

Obviously the most important word in the English language for me right now is 'she' - and its sister 'her'.


Getting people to call you by the correct third person singular personal pronoun is one fuck of a difficult business.  I've been working on it for nearly two years now and in some areas I've made great progress... not so much in others.


You have to work on people at different speeds and in different ways.  Work has been pretty easy because its a formal environment and you can, pretty much, expect people to address you correctly.  This is something I've learned - the more formal the situation the easier it is.  Fascinatingly, it's during moments at work when we're laughing and joking about that people slip and call me 'he' - it wouldn't happen during a meeting for example.


It's because calling someone by a term in relation to their gender happens instinctively and immediately - it's not something you feel the need (usually) to think about.  So, people make a 'gender assignation' when they see someone and they stick with it.  It's very hard to change it because you don't usually have to.  You don't actually have the linguistic equipment to deal with it.


Some people fudge the issue and say stuff like :   'jaye is coming over to show us jaye's bunch of flowers' or something - so they don't say 'she' or 'he'...   or sometimes they just mumble it and make a sound like 'shmehe'.


It's pretty funny really.


My boss said something enlightening - that when she called me 'she' at first she felt like she was insulting me.  That's interesting - because it would normally be very insulting to (seriously) call someone you perceive to be male 'she'.  But people have got to trust us transwomen when she say 'yes we are transitioning and not only do we prefer to be called 'she' we HATE being called 'he'.   


Girls and boys - wouldn't you hate it too?   To be called the opposite of what you are all the time?   That's insulting and hurtful - although people rarely mean to do it, which is the really vexing thing for everyone concerned.


Let me put it like this.  It's like you've been in prison for years and only been called your prison number - '923458' say.  Then you get out of prison and really look forward to everyone calling you by your real name.  But everywhere you go everyone still calls you '923458'...   you see what I mean?  A reminder that you're still a prisoner.


I have to be more active about it and that's what I'm going to do.  I am going to try really hard to correct people.  It's hard and embarrassing believe me - so much easier to just let it go.... but I can't live the rest of my life being called 'he' and 'him' all the time.  It's just wrong.


So, be warned world :   SHE must be obeyed !!