In the toilet again...

There's no way round it - the issue comes up again and again... the loo.  I had a (friendly) debate the other day about 'trans women and toilets' with someone who would never want to offend me, but just had to admit to not feeling comfortable about it.  


Because you tend to surround yourself with people who are cool about this sort of thing, I suppose you characterise the 'other side' as just being mean - so it's quite weird when someone nice is telling you they don't feel entirely happy with trans women using the ladies loo.


So let's think about it.  It might seem quite reasonable to make a rule such as 'you shouldn't use the ladies loo if you have a penis.'  Easy eh?  Why wouldn't that work?


Well because you might have been taking hormones for years and still have a penis - you might have started taking hormones before puberty and have never even developed secondary male sexual characteristics (facial hair, adams apple...)... you might be in the eyes of everybody a complete female... and have a penis.


Come on, we've all seen some trans-women who look absolutely mind-blowingly amazing - so that you'd never believe they were ever male.  Now if anyone saw them going into the MEN's toilet it would look a bit odd wouldn't it?


OK, so let's make another rule.  You can only use the ladies loo if you look sufficiently female to ensure no other users are worried by it.  OK, so who decides you pass the test?   I have used ladies loos for nearly two years and never been challenged - although someone did approach me once to tell me how much she supported me being there - so do I pass the test?


No one can make that decision can they?  It would be mad.  So let's make another rule :  you can only use the ladies loo if you've had surgery to remove your penis.  Right.  So you can't use the ladies loo if you've got every other bit of necessary equipment?!   You're supposed to go into the men's toilet and stand there and have a wee even if you have boobs?


We're getting into mad territory again aren't we?  Anyway, no truly trans woman could stand up to wee!!   I certainly couldn't.


So how do we decide who is female enough to use the ladies loo?


Let's say, horror of horrors, the lady in the cubicle next to you does have a penis which has yet to be removed... how will you know, exactly?  Do you make a habit of examining the genitals of other toilet users?  Of course not.


Another objection is that women might not feel safe with a trans-woman (ie - a 'man' in their opinion) in the toilet.  The implication here is that the trans-woman is likely to sexually assault them - that is what we're saying, right?


A trans-woman - a male who feels the desperate need to have surgery to remove 'his' penis and become fully female - is going to hang around in toilets raping women?    Of course, having received hormone treatment this person will be completely unable to 'achieve' an erection and 'his' testicles will have atrophied so god knows what 'he' is going to rape the other women with?  A cucumber?


This sounds like I'm being silly but when you think about it, well, it is a daft argument isn't it?


If someone can propose a sensible method by which trans-women should be prevented from using the ladies loo I'd be very interested - a method which doesn't just involve reversing the laws we have and making transsexualism basically illegal again.  Why not reverse the laws on homosexuality too?  Let's enjoy ourselves and take the vote away from women as well?  Come on!


The argument against comes down to, basically, 'I don't like it'.  Well, OK, I understand that - but you might not like the idea of flying but that doesn't mean aeroplanes should be banned does it?


When the Gender Recognition Act came in (2004) there was a major change in the politics of gender in this country.  For the first time your gender became, legally, what you felt it to be.  With the agreement of a trained clinician and having completed the two year 'real life test' of living in your chosen gender role.


There's another thing - I haven't even got a gender recognition certificate yet, but to get one I have to complete my two years living in my chosen gender role.  My chosen gender role is female (actually I don't have a choice about that).  Females use the ladies loo.  That's that.


Once you have the certificate (and I'm counting the days) you're either female or you aren't.  You can't be female till you come to the toilet door.  This is the way it is.  This is the way it has to be.


If you still believe that only people BORN female should use the ladies loo what are you actually asking for?   Genital testing?  Chromosome tests?  Gender passports?   What should my punishment be for using the 'wrong' toilet?  Arrest?  Prison?


I suppose we could have a scenario as depicted in the cartoon I've posted above...?   Personally I wouldn't like it.  Being a woman, I'd rather just use the ladies loo, thanks.