I am quite fortunate really in being able to understand what life is like from the point of view of both genders. As time goes on I will obviously learn more about what life is like as a female - I did about 33 years in the other role, so hopefully I'll live for longer as a female than as a male before I snuff it !
I'll never know what it's like to have a period or give birth of course - but I think there must be more to being a woman than these things. They are important but, well, plenty of women never have children so they don't know what that's like any more than me. Pre-pubescant and post-menopausal women are still women even though they don't have periods. And the very experience of menstruation varies widely from women who have no trouble at all with it, to women who have an awful time every month. We're all different.
That's a different thing anyway - I was going to talk about being male.
Men and women are subject to all kinds of expectations from day one - how much of a problem that is depends on whether you happen to fit in your given category comfortably. Boys are encouraged to compete with each other and so that's what you get a lot of when you're growing up - running fastest and kicking balls hardest.
As an alternative I suppose there's the 'geek' identity - you can get into sci-fi and enjoy making lists of things. In all this I don't know whether boys do these things because their brains just work that way or whether they learn to be the way they are. Same with girls. As a sociologist, academically speaking, I'm inclined to think it's more 'nurture'.
Anyway, yeah, being a geek is there as an alternative to the competitive stuff. I wonder where it comes from?
I'm a bit of a geek myself - I like science fiction and I did grow up with that geek identity. Doctor Who was my thing, as for lots of awkward boys I suppose - the Doctor represents a non-violent, non-competitive model of masculinity.
Girls can be geeks anyway can't they?! And unlike other Who geeks I know, I don't get frustrated with the new series being different from the old - I actually think the new series is better in almost every way. But the old one makes me feel cosy.
This is turning into a Doctor Who blog.
So - yes. Being a boy. There's not much variety on offer when it comes to clothes - so is it any wonder most boys aren't interested? Most girls would be bewildered by the largely functional male attitude to clothes. I think the biggest difference is that, as a woman, you feel the seasons much more - they impact directly on your body as you dress differently, pick different colours, think about uncovering or covering. Forget all that if you're a boy - the seasons make very little difference. Imagine having your feet covered up in horrible sweaty shoes nearly all year round! Shoes with socks ALL the time. Oh my god - it's awful.
Boys have to manage without a handbag. Having lived for many years without one I can't tell you what a revelation it was to start using one. I can't really remember what I used to do - how DO they cope?? They bulge out their pockets with everything, that's what. Now my bags get increasingly huge as I fit more and more of my entire life in them. You can take my handbag - from my cold, dead hands...
What else? When boys have a problem their friends distract them from it - whereas girls talk about it. Both methods have merit. A bloke who's split up from his girlfriend will probably get a visit from his mate who'll bring a pack of beer and they'll sit and talk about stuff and laugh over all their classic memories. But I need a girly chat I'm afraid...
Women talk to other women all the time - you can always say 'ooh nice shoes' or 'I love your bag' and you've got a conversation going. I suppose men talk about sport or tell jokes and stuff. Not the same though is it? I can't imagine most men starting a conversation with 'ooh nice tie' or 'oh I love your cufflinks!' ha ha
So - this rambling comes to a conclusion. And the conclusion - for me - is that being a boy is shit. But that's only because I happen to not be one. If you ARE one than I'm sure it's a perfectly great thing to be. Socks... ties... pockets... who could ask for more?
My view of gender probably seems a bit limited. It's just what comes to mind - I know that, ultimately, there are as many genders as there are people and being a boy or a girl is what you want it to be...
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