The Poke and Point...

This is the well known Monty Python sketch called 'Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink' - and I've chosen it to illustrate my guide to the phenomenon I am going to call 'The Poke and Point'.  


I'm sure it's something which will be very familiar to all those people out there who (through no fault of their own, usually) look a bit... well...odd.  


Of course the funny thing about people who look a bit...well... odd is that underneath the oddness they're usually very normal and just like you really, poke and pointer, with the same feelings and emotions and all that other pesky stuff.  Tsk.  Now I'm making you feel guilty so you won't be able to enjoy poking and pointing anymore.  Tsk.


Anyway, poking and pointing happens between two or more people when they see someone who looks a bit...well... odd.  Maybe a transgender woman who is undergoing treatment for gender dysphoria and transitioning from male to female physically and legally.  Someone like that, perhaps.  Let's imagine the slightly...well...odd person is me.


So, the process starts when I make eye contact with someone else.  There is an interval of about two seconds during which that person reads me and makes a decision about what the situation is.  Their decision is that I am a man dressed as a woman.  Unfortunately this is a hugely wrong reading of the situation, but once made the moment is out there, the glorious poke and point moment, ready to be plucked from the air. 


The person cannot resist.  They simply have to move to phase two.  This involves them saying to the other person something like (I'm guessing here) : 


'Look, that's a tranny, definitely...'


We call this the 'poke'.  Phase three is a subtle and hilarious pantomime during which the person on the receiving end of the poke attempts to find the person they're supposed to be looking at.  They will raise themselves up on their haunches like demented meerkats and cast about wildly with gazing eyes in an attempt to find the 'tranny'.


It won't occur to either of them that the 'tranny' might be fully aware of what is happening. Trannies are insane perverted weirdos who wouldn't notice stuff like that and...well... if they did it serves them right for parading around in women's clothes.  Jesus.


If the meercat is unable to spot the required personage, the other party may just indulge in a 'point' - but it won't be anything as direct as a finger, it'll be more like a nod or, more commonly, a flick of the eyes in the appropriate direction.  Then contact is made - yes!  And there is sniggering.  I think that's the appropriate word for it.  Sniggering.


Which brings me to techniques to be employed by the person at the receiving end...    You can hide your face and disallow them the pleasure of the reveal moment.  Hair comes in quite useful for this purpose.  Or just look the other way.


You can avoid the initial eye contact in the first place.  This is the most common tactic and does work, providing you don't bump into things.  But then you might just feel like you should hold your head high like a human being with a modicum of dignity.  Oh dear, so much for that tactic then.


People say I am looking for the poke and pointers... but of course I am not.  Why would I avoid looking people in the eye if I wanted it to happen?  The only reason I can talk about it like this is because I can't walk around looking at the floor all the time and whenever I do raise my head to look at someone (someone with someone else - people on their own are obviously OK), then a P&P is going to occur in most cases.  


Half the time?   Yeah, I reckon.


A final phase could be added during which you approach the poke and pointer and challenge them.  They always, always, always, always deny it without fail.   They go very red, look astonished, and say of course not, no way.  No one ever admits it.  If they did, and if they just said 'sorry', that would be quite healing.


So there you go, the poke and point.  I suppose my most frequent reaction is to smile and wave at the meerkat as they flail about trying to find me.  It let's them know I've seen them and also helps them see the poor fucker they're supposed to be laughing at.


I'm nothing if not helpful.


Nudge nudge, eh?  Wink, Wink.  Say no more.