Update...

Today was my fourth appointment at Charing Cross GIC so I am becoming quite used to that journey from Victoria Station, then to Hammersmith Tube Station then up Fulham Palace Road.  Nowhere near Charing Cross, rather oddly.


Here it is - in this picture.  No, not Sainsburys Local - above that.  Doesn't look like the place dreams are made of does it?


I think I am doing everything they want - basically if you are waiting to get your Gender Recognition Certificate (GRC) and surgery and everything else so that your life can start then you probably aren't ready.


It's one of those things - you have to show you can live without it in order to get it.  I think I have shown that.  I live as a female... and I can prove that I do.


The guy I saw today is the head clinician (they call them that, rather than 'psychiatrists') - James Barrett.  He is mad as a box of frogs but very charming - although likely to say rather contrary things.


Like last time I saw him he said I was unlikely to get my GRC - this time he seemed to think it would be fine.  Apparently 98% of people are successful - 1% of the others have filled out the form wrong, half a per cent have just failed and the other half a per cent are mad.


So hopefully I will be OK!


He is going to chase up the surgery on my 'adam's apple'.  I really want that to happen now - it will make such a difference to my confidence.


The delay is apparently nothing to do with budget cutbacks (people have been telling me the budget for gender identity stuff is being cut) - cutbacks in the NHS aren't affecting this yet.  According to James 'box of frogs' Barrett gender identity surgeries / treatment are quite cheap on the NHS really because there are so few of us.


You wouldn't think so when you look at all us trannies crammed into the waiting room above Sainsburys Local - but true transsexualism is actually pretty rare.


Anyway, he looked at me today and asked a wonderful question : 


'...so, is it time for surgery?'


I think it is - and he agreed.  Two shrinks have to agree that you need the surgery before it can happen so my next appointment in April is being described as a 'Surgical Review'...   wooooo!   It's with a new Shrink I haven't previously seen.


Assuming he agrees with Dr Barrett I suppose I will be referred after that.  I think the wait will probably be in the years rather than the months for the surgery to actually happen - we'll see.


Of course I am scared about it - it's obviously going to be terribly painful - I mean, well duh.   Some trans-women act as if the desire for it outweighs all possible considerations of fear - I think that's nonsense.  If you aren't scared, you aren't taking it seriously enough I reckon.


But walking out of there today I just felt immensely happy and excited about becoming a real girl (Pinocchio moment).  I've had enough now - I am ready.  
I want to be complete.  Not because it proves anything to anyone else - just because I am a girl and that's how my body should be.


Long way to go anyway - but every step is in the right direction now...