Manners...

Thought about it and I am going to talk about manners because of certain incidents which occurred last night.


It's time for a slight rant.


Now who is this beautiful lady pictured, you may be asking..?  It's actually Barbara Cartland - yes, the woman who ended up looking like a big pink monstrosity - bless her.  Wasn't she lovely?


She is there because I have a book which she wrote called 'The Etiquette Handbook'.  Actually it's very well written, beautiful prose.  There's an awful lot of stuff in there about how to behave at a supper party and whatnot - but she herself says that good manners are really just being kind and considerate to others.


She says : 


'If I had to write down the unwritten law of good behaviour in one simple phrase there would be no negative 'You Shall Not', but a strong 'You Shall'.  And first and foremost - 'You Shall Possess Tact'


So true, Barbara. 


When you are trans some people don't know how to behave and they throw the normal rules out of the window.  They don't see you as a person - just an object to be prodded and poked.  They also offer 'advice' - like last night when a man was trying to tell me what was wrong with what I was wearing.


No.  No.  No.  You mustn't do that shit.


Christ, the amount of time and effort and worry we girls put into picking an outfit for the Christmas party - or even just to go out the door in the morning...   I am hardly likely to be LESS self-conscious than the average woman.  I would argue a whole lot more.


So how cruel and mean to offer me 'advice' in this way - to tell me that what I am wearing is drawing attention to me.  What did that person know?  How fucking dare they.


Then he started asking about my voice and saying would it get less deep.


Now people have asked me that before - people I know well.  You can't ask someone personal questions like that when you've just met them.  I am obviously going to be sensitive about it - what a horrible thing to ask.


It's like saying to someone who is overweight :  'so when will you be losing weight then?'


And it doesn't mitigate it if you say 'I hope you don't mind me asking...' or 'you look really good but...'


NO!!  It doesn't make it right.


It all comes down to that old thing - if you are different people think you don't have feelings.


But while I may look different to you - I feel like a normal woman to myself - just a woman who has things wrong with her body.  OK?  


So just extend the same courtesy to me that you would to any other woman... and any other person.


That's all I have to say apart from (cover your ears Barbara) :


What a cunt he was.  What a fucking cunt.