It's a man...

Scary arsed picture of a clown?   Well I just put 'It' into google and this image came back - from the film of the same name, which in turn came from the very long book by Stephen King.  I found this clown pretty scary till I realised it was Tim Curry - then it just seemed camp!


Anyway, yeah.  I got called an 'it' the other day when some girls walked by me.  One said to the other 'it looks like a man'.  And the other one said 'it is'.


Now that's all really horrible - as if it wasn't bad enough to be called a man, it's adding insult to injury to be referred to as an 'it'.


I suppose it's their way of saying they don't know what I am - I've had it before and it's not nice.  You shouldn't call a person an 'it'.


These conversations about what I am are usually engaged in quietly and the the people concerned would probably be mortified if they knew I could hear.  They're just not being quiet enough are they?!   It's partly because they kind of assume someone who is different is going to be too mad to hear - they don't attribute the different person with normal perception, for some reason.


Probably because they don't see the different person as a person at all - just an object.


I am quite into 're-framing the problem' these days - it's something you do in cognitive-behavioural therapy.  Basically it's like Polyanna's 'glad game'...
you just put a positive spin on it.


For instance, I do occasionally get people asking each other what I am (male or female) - but that at least means I've managed to create uncertainty on that point.  And that's with only a gnat's of oestrogen floating around inside me - not enough to make any difference yet.


So I am woman enough to confuse them at least - if not convince them that I am what I feel myself to be.


See, that's re-framing the problem.


I've also found it's helped to publish the things that are shouted at me (or nasty things I've overheard) here on facebook.  It becomes a kind of game - and anyway it's made me realise that most of the time it just doesn't happen.
I will walk around for days at a time with nothing at all being said, and that includes using the ladies loos and changing rooms and stuff, so I must be doing something right!


As far as most people are concerned I am a 'she' - not a 'he', and certainly not an 'it'.